Which wine dog are you?

Chris Coffey
By Chris Coffey
almost 2 years ago
7 min read

It’s Year of the Dog, and we sell wine. Hmmm... then it’s probably time you find out which dog matches your favourite wine, and is therefore you in a nutshell. You’re welcome in advance.

Yep, really. So just navigate to your favourite style/variety to find out your wine canine alter-ego.

Sparkling = Terrier

You’re the life of the party, sometimes annoyingly so. You’re bright and bubbly (obviously), but sometimes the next day’s cleanup can be a little taxing. If we’re honest, sometimes we regret inviting you at all. You’re unstoppable, you make your own fun, and you’re also high maintenance and pretty needy. But we love you, unconditionally and furever.

Drink this: Nicolas Maillart Brut Platine 1er Cru NV

Riesling = Kelpie

You’re always working on your balancing act, you’re refined and getting better with age. You started off lively but you’re getting more complex with age. Sometimes you get dressed up, but you don’t need to be in costume to be incredibly entertaining. You’re a no bs straight shooter who values transparency and intelligent conversation. You’re the weird one from the farm that can work hard but also loves to practice your own tricks. Maybe it was that time we left you out in the sun too long. Still, you’re a chiller, you’re extremely loyal and we wouldn’t want you any other way.  

Drink this: Dopff & Irion Cuvée René Dopff Riesling 2016

Chardonnay = Chihuahua

Yeah, you think you’re cool, and you might have expensive tastes and fancy clothes, but underneath you’re actually too often a little bit scruffy and scared, covering up your weaknesses with ostentation. You don’t fool us. But you also know how to rule over all others, and when you’re good, the results can be bigger than Ben Hur. It might seem like an odd match, but what chihuahua’s lack in stature they make up for in personality, and when you’re dressed up you can be magnificent - to some people’s eyes at least. Yes, your divisive nature is mainly being misunderstood, and people taking you at face value. To some, that face is a hideous, beady-eyed reminder of everything that’s wrong in the world. To others, you have the face of an angel, and these are your people - now and always.

Drink this:  Arcadia Bohemia Chardonnay 2016

Pinot Grigio = Great Dane

I don’t know why everyone is in love with you, but there’s a certain something that’s quite commanding and expected about your presence. You’re the monarch-in-waiting, and everyone knows it. Especially you. Unfortunately, you’re a true softie and have no real command, and people walk all over you. Luckily, some are loyal to you.

Drink this: Kangarilla Road Reserve Pinot Grigio 2017

Sauvignon Blanc = Pug

You’re very in our faces, but many still love you and flock to you in droves. You can show up wearing anything and people know what to expect, you’ve got an attitude all of your own. Haters gonna hate.

Drink this: Cirro Sauvignon Blanc 2017

Savagnin = Mongrel

Everyone thought you were going to be cute, bright and shapely (like Albarino, for example), and then the news comes out that your breeding stock was muddled up. Well, no one wants you now, sorry, except for the piteous, no matter how you bat those… eyelids? Sorry, I couldn’t tell if they were eyelids because I was, um, distracted by your pretty… smile. 

Rosé = ? 

No one understands you. Even you don’t know your purpose in life. Some people like you despite this, but you tend to be a bit of an enigma. Sometimes enjoyable, sometimes simple. Often written off as being superfluous, sometimes unfairly. Sometimes not. Occasionally you’re just not chilled enough, and people don’t like you when you’re too warmed up and in their faces. But you can be beautiful too, you don’t need to explain yourself. You’re just you, and that’s enough.

Drink this: Mule Single Vineyard Rosé 2017

Shiraz = Golden Retriever

You’re extremely friendly, and popular, and you’ve been known to be the life of multiple parties in a single day. You’ve always got something to add. We’ve even seen you mix with those you shouldn’t and come out on top - you shouldn’t be underestimated. It’s obviously hard for you to put a foot wrong.

Drink this: D’Sas Shiraz 2016

Cabernet = Greyhound

‘Structure’ is your middle name, and you’re always thinking of the future. You’re handy in a sprint for the wins, but you’re in our lives for the long haul, and you definitely get better with age. But you’re not averse to dressing up with others for a bit of a party. You’ll just be the quirky one that not everyone truly understands, but those who do… well, they’re the intelligent ones.

Drink this: Old Money Coonawarra Cabernet Sauvignon 2014

Mataro = Daschund

You keep everyone on the straight and narrow, you and your meaty length and strict demeanour. You’re a good companion, always in the middle of the action, but you often fly under the radar because you’re all about lifting up others and helping them find their true potential.

Merlot

You’re pretty chill and you’re easy to please. You generally don’t even ask what time to turn up, but you do, even if no one asked you to. But you’re a good mixer too, easy to hang with and easy to please. Don’t let anyone box you in.

Drink this: BLACK MARKET Cabernet Merlot 2014

Grenache = British Bulldog

You’re a multi-talented sort. People too often write you off as big and brutish because you’ve got your package on show, but we know the truth. You’re versatile enough to mix with most in the crowd, and you’re extremely entertaining. 

Drink this: Maximus Emperor Series Centenarian Grenache 2013

Pinot Noir = Labradoodle

You used to be cool. Now too often you’re just an overpriced show-pony, usurped by the hipster cliques. Don’t give up though, trends come and go and we’ll always have Paris. But just lay low for this year, k?

Drink this: Duck Sauce Pinot Noir 2016

Gamay

We’ve seen you be serious and silly, but we know underneath you’ve been a punk-rocking, exuberant type all along. Your true value is just starting to be recognised, and your time is now. 

Nebbiolo = Pomeranian

Wow. Mesmerising. You’re fascinatingly complex, wonderfully polished and you get away with being a bit showy. We know you need time to open up but we also know you’re worth the wait. 

Try this: Giovanni Rosso Langhe Nebbiolo 2015

Sangiovese = Beagle

Some people think of you as a bit gruff, or judgmental, but we know your true self. In the right environment, your bright nose comes to the fore, your brilliant energy is very much appreciated, and your true beauty is revealed.

Try this: Gusto Mama Sangiovese 2014

Tempranillo = Border Collie

You’re so friendly. You might be a bit dense sometimes, but with all your happy fruitiness and ability to go with anyone, well, if someone doesn’t love you they’re the outcast. You are a bit needy sometimes though. Let’s work on that.

Drink this: Tritium Rioja Alta Tempranillo 2015


So now you know. Don’t blame us if you don’t like your match, we’re just the messengers from the gods of wine dogs.