Your wine personality based on your favourite holiday movie
Ho, ho, ho, mofos, and a very merry toast to the holiday season! This time of year means lots of family time, even more wine, and permission to chuck your favourite classic movie on repeat for the next month.
So are you a lover of Love, Actually? A die-hard Die Hard fan? A Gremlins groupie? Whatever your go-to holiday film, there’s a wine personality to match. Here’s what your #1 says about you.
If you love Die Hard, you’re a pinotage
Yes, it’s a Christmas movie (the screenwriter says so, so pop that in your glass and sip it). The classic Bruce Willis-Alan Rickman vehicle Die Hard ticks all the bold, punchy, intense, action-packed boxes you could ask for — just like South Africa’s signature grape pinotage. Yippie ki-yay.
If you love Elf, you’re a pétillant-naturel
Combine Will Ferrell as the iconic Buddy the Elf, one of Jon Favreau’s first directorial outings, and a truly inventive concept from writer David Berenbaum, and you get Elf — one of the quirkiest, most eminently quotable films to ever grace the holiday season with its presence. Just like its title character, Elf marches to the beat of its own drum.
The wine equivalent? Pétillant-naturel, aka pét-nat, aka the OG of vino. Made using the ancestral method (in which the wine completes fermentation in-bottle), pét-nats are fun, bubbly, and unique. Sounds like Elf to us!
If you love Gremlins, you’re a shiraz
Billed as a ‘comedy horror,’ Gremlins is, frankly, terrifying (along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, it actually prompted the Motion Picture Association of America to create the PG-13 rating between PG and R) — but to many, the Steven Spielberg-executive produced film ranks right up there among the best Christmas classics. It features some pretty intense scenes and lots of deaths both human and gremlin, but it’s also got little fuzzy creatures running amok and wreaking havoc.
If you love The Holiday, you’re a gamay
My personal pick for holiday-movie-on-repeat, The Holiday stars Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Kate Winslet (truly something for everyone in that quartet) and splits its settings between the golden sun and warmth of Los Angeles and the snowy, bundle-me-up-in-a-jumper cosiness of England.
It’s the best of both the Christmas-weather worlds — much like a chillable red is the best of both the wine worlds. So if you’re into The Holiday, gamay’s your gal.
If you love Home Alone, you’re a dry riesling
Ah, Home Alone: a genuine holiday icon. Based on a truly ludicrous premise in which the McCallister family somehow manages to get all the way to Paris without their eight-year-old son, this Chris Columbus-directed, John Hughes-produced romp (that turned Macauley Culkin into a household name) is light, mischievous, and knee-slappingly funny.
If Home Alone sends you into fits of laughter, you’ve likely got a zingy sense of humour that puts you right in line with a bright, punchy, dry riesling.
If you love Love, Actually, you’re a Bordeaux blend
Arguably the film that popularised the interweaving-narrative trend, Love, Actually stars pretty much the entire actor bank of Hollywood, from Emma Thompson and Keira Knightley to Liam Neeson and the late Alan Rickman. It’s a feel-good classic that blends together many of the film world’s most admired faces — much like a famous Bordeaux blend.
If you love The Nightmare Before Christmas, you’re a California zinfandel
Tim Burton is a filmmaking legend, and for good reason — his movies, from Edward Scissorhands to Sweeney Todd to Alice in Wonderland, have inspired a legion of ardent fans thanks to their stylised looks, gothic themes, and fantastical vibes.
His animated venture The Nightmare Before Christmas is no different; it even spawned a year-in-year-out go-to Halloween costume based on the main character Jack Skellington. It’s iconic, just like California’s trademark zinfandel — which has the added bonus of being traditionally high-alcohol and therefore a bit heady and trippy, in true Tim Burton fashion.
If you love The Santa Clause, you’re an oaked chardonnay
Does anything scream ‘holiday family favourite’ louder than The Santa Clause? Yeah, we didn’t think so. For this funny Tim Allen vehicle to top your Christmas movie list, you’ve got to appreciate all things cuddly and cockle-warming, which leads us to your wine personality — an oaked chardonnay.
Want more wine personalities? Find your match based on your zodiac sign and your Chinese element.